We’d been living in the apartment for a full three weeks before we even noticed Frank, much less figure out who he was. Maybe we did see him early on (it comes to mind just now seeing him pass by in the hall as we were moving our stuff in) but we just didn’t notice him, if you know what I mean. You’d think we were blind or something, because he kind of stands out once you think about it. Anyway. Took us a while.

Old guy, maybe late sixties, but still in pretty good shape. I’m thinking ‘Sean Connery’ here. Has an immaculately maintained van-dyke goatee. White hair. He’s always wearing well-tailored suits. Never the same one twice. I keep forgetting to ask who his tailor is. Carries a cane with him, too. Nice handle. Polished to a shine that would rival the glass buildings downtown. Always wearing a fedora, too. The old kind, with the red feather just peeking out of the band thingy. I don’t know what it’s called. Which is sort of odd, because we only see him indoors. He’s got this pocket watch, complete with gold fob and everything. I’m just trying to paint a picture here.

We first noticed him because he kept going in and out of everyone’s apartment. Just be walking behind him in the hall and he’d turn and open up a door and step right in. He’d always close the door because he caught up, so we couldn’t glance in to see what was going on. Likewise, we’d see him just open up any other door and step out into the hall. Nobody ever said a word about missing any stuff, so at first we figured he was the super. But that didn’t make much sense because what kind of super dresses like that. I mean seriously.

So then we got to thinking that everybody knows him but us, and we were kind of curious so we asked our next-door neighbours who he was, and if he was just politely dodging us. New people in the building, you know. But our neighbours said that they didn’t know who we were talking about, so we started to get even more curious. I mean, it was odd, because he was obviously so friendly with everyone, what with going in and out of their apartments and everything. And since nothing was ever stolen, then they must have been friendly with him, but I guess not. I mean, it was just kind of strange.

After that, we didn’t see him for a bit. Then one day I’m sitting in the living room, laughing it up with Bernie Mac, and I hear this knock on my door. I look through the little lens thing, and it’s him. He’s standing in the hall looking right at me, and I know it’s a one-way deal, but seriously, he was looking right at me. And I know everyone says that because let’s face it, everyone looks at the little lens thing when we knock on someone else’s door, but really, he was looking me in the eye.

What did I do? What else was I supposed to do? I opened the door, that’s what I did.

So I’ve got the door open, and we’re just standing there looking at each other. He’s not saying anything. I’m not saying anything. Then he snatches up his cane all brisk-like and turns and walks down the hall at a good clip. So I follow him.

We go up seven flights, which is basically all the way up. I don’t know. I never went up so what do I know how many floors there are. So we go up, and we get to the door to the roof, and he opens it and we step out. It’s real dark, so I’m like, ok? so? Then I take a look around and we’re standing in the middle of someone’s apartment, and the lights are off.

There’s doors like this all over the city. Frank’s mapping it all out for me.